How to get a child to listen - 1 Socratic Method

Parents want their children to do what is healthy for them and make good choices.  Some things are harder than others.  I wanted to share some fundamental techniques in dealing with people that I've learned over the years.  First of all, you have your own problems, and we have to address that fact.  When your child doesn't do what you want, many people relate it to themselves.  For example, in the beginning you say, "you have to brush your teeth so that your teeth are strong and white!"  Then after your child doesn't do it and you always have to get on them about it, you change it to, "you never do what I tell you to, you gotta brush your teeth!"  So you begin to make it about YOU and not about THEM!  To begin, we need to create the mindset of always relating the things a child must do to THEIR SELF INTEREST!

Now, we want all children to compete in the upcoming tournament!  There are so many benefits to children competing.  In the later posts, we'll publish them.  Among the many, the kids will expand socially and make new friends, understand winning and losing, and they'll also have a lot of fun.  That's just the beginning, and kids experience things different!  Today, I want to teach you the Socratic Method on getting a child to listen and do what you want them to do.  Just as a side-note, this works even better for adults! NOTE* "Socratic" stems from the base word, Socrates was a Greek philosopher changed the way people thought... he would make his students train with the wrestlers because he understood that a strong body leads to a strong mind!  Click this link to find out more about Socrates

Let's start our tournament competition conversation by getting our child to say, YES!  Don't start out with, "Do you want to compete?" Most of the time, a child won't want to compete because of they are nervous and scared.  Tournaments are big events in a new place and kids don't know what to expect.  So say something like, "You are doing pretty good in class and I can tell your instructor is impressed by your performance... doesn't that make you feel good?"  Then your child would say, "Yeah, that is pretty cool."  You could follow up with, "I would say you're one of the top students in class... it's too bad there's not a way to challenge yourself and see how good you really are..." And your child might say, "Yeah, that would be pretty cool." Then you could say, "Well you know, your instructor did mention that there's a tournament coming up, I bet that would be a good way to see how good you are.. What do you think?  Would you want to try it out?"  Use a couple questions to get your child to say YES before you drop the big question, even if you assume they're excited.  They might even come up with the idea themselves!

Here's a little note about the word NO.  Avoid them saying the word no - with kids' pride, they will stick with the no and not go back, it's like a game.  Even if they change their mind and end up feeling like they really want to do it later, they will stick with it because their pride is on the line.  In a book by Dale Carnegie, he states, "When a person says 'no' and really means it, he or she is really doing far more than saying a word of two letters.  The entire organism - glandular, nervous, muscular - gathers itself together into a condition of rejection."

My passion for the character development in children inspires me to give you this call to action:  Take a stand for the important people in your life that train in martial arts - get them to commit to competing in a tournament to make them better martial artists and stronger people. Try the Socratic method for the upcoming tournament!