Parents teach their children to make bad financial decisions subconsciously. I have seen it so many times in the past. No, I didn't read this in a book or ask someone who is "certified" in this field. Let me tell you a story about a kid named Justin.
Justin was one of my best students and he was always a pleasure to have in class. He was a cool kid that rocked ATA gear to school and always motivated the kids in his ATA class. Then, Dad lost his job (but mom didn't) and it hit the family pretty hard. After about 3 months, Dad got another job but wasn't making enough money. Mom and Dad were supportive parents and didn't let Justin stop doing karate while they were stressing about money. But with that, imagine all the worrying that the children heard the parents doing and all the anxiety that Mom and Dad had about paying the bills.
A month after Dad got his job back and Mom and Dad started getting their bills back in shape, Justin starting telling his Mom and Dad that he didn't want to do summer camps, wasn't ready for Belt Promotions, and didn't like to compete in tournaments any more (even though he was a 3x State Champion).
Mom said, "I don't care if you continue with martial arts but you're not going to do it half-assed. If you do it, you need to do it 100% if I'm going to be paying all this money." Justin decided a few weeks later that he was going to quit karate.
What changed in the four months that Dad didn't have a job and the parents were in a temporary financial challenge? The anxiety and stress that the parents were feeling trickled down to Justin. I know, after speaking with Justin years later, that he was worried that karate was making his parents not pay the bills. He didn't want to be the reason that they couldn't go out to eat or his Dad to stop bowling every weekend.
People make decisions subconsciously because of events in their life. You can call these things Superstitions. These superstitions are similar to the old "don't walk under a ladder" or "see a penny, pick it up, all day long, you'll have good luck," only they make more sense. To the outside world, the person looks just as crazy. Justin made up a superstition called, "If I keep doing karate, my family will be poor and my dad won't be able to bowl anymore." In his later life, he will make decisions to quit things instead of trying to "make it work" or to push on through challenges.
Now there is always a time when you should quit, but Justin LIED to his parents because he thought it was THE RIGHT THING TO DO. He said he didn't want to do Camps or Belt Promotions and his Mom got angry because she didn't realize the real reason he was saying these things.
In the future, when finances get tight, keep it between you and your spouse. Have a logical conversation about it with your children instead of adding anxiety and stress into their life. If it's a decision to quit something because you can't pay for it anymore, have a good conversation about it and make sure the reasons are clear.
My passion for the character development in children inspires me to give you this call to action: Take a stand for the important people in your life that train in martial arts - get them to commit to competing in a tournament to make them better martial artists and stronger people.
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