Healthy Competition :) Part 3

"This is why I kept doing martial arts!"
That is what I tell to all the families that ask me questions about tournaments.  Most people are curious about how a tournament works, how long it lasts, and what they have to do.  Those questions are easy to answer but the most important thing is, when you go to a tournament, set the goal to compete, NOT watch.  When you watch something that you are nervous about before you participate (like a tournament), most people will come up with MORE reasons why they can't do it - not get excited about participating.  That's why I ask my potential new students to just into a class or private lesson first, not watch a class.

"I'm going to get the third bar added to it now since I just earned my third degree black belt!"  Is what Mr. Frank from the Edgewood, MD ATA school said a few years ago about his Triple Crown Champion tattoo that he has in an inconspicuous spot on his calf.  Many school owners are so excited about competition that they will do anything to share the experience with their students.  Another thing that many school owners will agree on is tournaments is also a decision point in students QUITTING martial arts.  They don't have a good experience and, instead of learning from it, they decide to give up everything they've worked for!  In the next part of this article is the lessons that kids should learn after a tournament so that they are motivated and learn life skills from it.  From every win and loss, a lesson is learned.  Sometimes the lesson is more like a diamond in the rough.  A competitor may leave a tournament saying "the judge was wrong" "they didn't call my points" "I should've beaten him" "I don't know why he won when he dropped his weapon," among an infinite amount of complaints.  You have to dig really deep sometimes to discover the lesson to be learned!

This week, I'll focus more on the age group of 7-13.  For older kids, it's important to make them think but try and guide their thoughts.  In the last post, we talked about what to do when they win and what to do when they lose.  Here is a quick review:

WIN:  When the competitor wins, make sure you remind them that the other students aren't going to take it lightly and they're going to turn it up and try to beat them next time.  So it's important to train harder!  The next part included the fact that the 4th place trophy has significance but is not a true WIN!  It means that they have done something that 90% of martial artists wouldn't and they deserved recognition for that.

LOSE:  When the competitor loses, it's important to give self-feedback and talk about what parts they were weakest in.  Work with your competitor to come up with creative ideas that are possible so that they become better at the next tournament.  Have them set a goal that is specific!

From both tournament results, we have a job to do.  Begin the process of preparing for the next tournament on the drive home!  Always give praise about what the competitor truly did good.  Go wild with praise and make it specific - especially if they didn't get 1st, 2nd, or 3rd.  If you stopped to get a meal at one of the rest stops on the way home and they are unresponsive and they don't really acknowledge all the praise - that's OK!  They are probably going to feel down about not winning.  From both outcomes of competition, the next action needs to be to either "Train Harder" or "become better."  Those things have the same meaning!!  Here's an extra detail:  when you are working on setting the goal to do better or get the same result at the next tournament, teach your child how to set the goal but also talk about the steps that it will take to get that result!  Let your child do most of the talking and see if they can be creative and come up with a plan on how they can get better.  Here are some ways to improve:

• Get some private lessons - they will make you exponentially better!
• Have a strict training regimen.  At first it can just be a challenge of discipline like:  Every time we practice, we're going to go for no less than 30 minutes.  Another one can be:  we are going to train for 15 minutes every day, no matter what
• At your school, try and work with a different instructor to get a new perspective.  Some instructors have a preference to weapons, sparring, forms, sport karate/ extreme and you can get insights into those divisions sometimes by switching it up!

 The moral if this story is:  Most people in our country set goals but a statistic shows that only about 2% regularly achieve them.  Help your child SET a goal and then work on a plan and stick with it to GET their goal!  My passion for the character development in children inspires me to give you this call to action:  Take a stand for the important people in your life that train in martial arts - get them to commit to competing in a tournament to make them better martial artists and stronger people.