Why do kids bully? [Part 1]

One of the greatest dangers facing our kids these days is bullying.  The statistics are outrageous!  According to ABC News, 30 percent of kids in school are either bullies or get bullied.  Over 160,000 kids stay home every day because of the fear of a bully.  Policies and standards have been set all over the world for what to do when bullying happens.  Even though the rules are strict, why does it continue to happen?  In this article, the focus will be on bullying on a school-aged child level.  First, let's discover what bullying actually is.

Bullying happens in a few different ways.  A bully can torment by verbally abusing someone.  This could be name calling or making fun of the other person.  When I was in 8th grade, I remember that bullies would make fun of other kids because they were overweight, not as good at sports or games in gym class, because they didn't dress in expensive clothes, or sometimes they would torment another kid for no good reason.  A bully can also physically assault someone.  This could be hitting with fists, kicking, open hands, or anything that would result in injury.  When I was in high school, I remember the seniors would walk around and "ball tap" the freshmen which was like a slap between the legs.  While embarrassing and painful, the freshmen felt that they couldn't do anything about it because seniors are so much bigger.  Another way that a bully acts is messing up another child's belongings.  I remember in school, one common practice was a bully would run up behind another kid and flip their books out of their arms.  All of their papers would go everywhere and the kid would be embarrassed and late to class.  Any of these things can cause a lot of issues in a child's life and the situations negatively challenge them to continue to try hard at school.  Some kids just want to give up.

Imagine two kids facing each other.  One kid is bigger.  You witness the bigger kid make fun of the smaller kid, what do you want to do?  Now, the bigger kid shoves the smaller kid to the ground.  What do you want to do about it now?  Most people I've asked say, "I would shove the bully down!" Or they would say, "I would hit the bully - yank them up and teach them right from wrong!"  That's what I used to think too.  To solve the problem, you must punish the bully.  Set rules and punish the "bad apples" so that the kids that aren't causing problems can learn.  If there were no bullies, the world would be a better place, right?  Wrong- that last statement will never happen.  There will always be bullies and there will always be people that get bullied.  Bully Beatdown will never solve the problem.  What happens when that kid finally snaps on a bully that has been picking on them for the entire school year?  The bully picks a new target, he doesn't STOP bullying!

The only way to stop bullying is to take action for the people YOU care about.  Bullying will never stop but you can make a difference in who becomes the target!  In the situation I described above, you have to ask, "Why was that other kid getting bullied?"  Obviously, the bully CHOSE the target:  1) Was the target someone just because he was smaller?
2) Was the target someone who doesn't dress in the latest fashion?
3) Was the target dirty or did he smell bad?
Why was the smaller kid chosen as the target?

In order to ensure that your child will know what to do when a bully strikes, EMPOWER them!  At ATA Elkton, we're hosting 13 different one-hour bully defense lessons over the next 6 months.  Each one will empower every child that participates and will be a little different. Every class will be a community event and to attend, you'd donate $35 to St. Jude's Children's Hospital.  In the next article, I'll elaborate on the different topics and we're going to help kids remove fear from their lives and accomplish their goals!