Why do kids bully? [Part 2]

Bullying will never stop!  As there has always been bigger people trying to control smaller people, there will always be a struggle for control!  Some experts agree that the cause of bullying is personal insecurities.  It may happen like this:  A Dad abuses his son and tells him he'll never amount to anything and he always messes up.  He tells his son all of the bad things he does and never gives him praise for the good things.  Feeling like a loser, the child goes into the world with a negative outlook on everyone.  His only example in life teaches him how to interact with others, mostly negative.  He inflicts his childhood negativity on other kids around him.  To himself he says, "These kids are my age and just like me, if I won't amount to anything then neither will they!"  So he torments smaller kids to take out the frustration given to him by his father!  When the child bully grows up and has a son of his own, the cycle starts again...

That isn't always true.  Many kids labeled as bullies say that picking on other people makes them feel good.  If that is one's source of pleasure, I would have to say that that is pretty sad.  Most people have "bullied" another person before and they might not have realized it!  Little things that people say or the way people say certain things can effect people tremendously.

Let's look at some of the questions I posed in the last article:  Why was the child bullied?  There could be many reasons why but do your best to take care of those issues.  Many things can breed bullying.

One that comes to mind is child obesity.  Because someone is overweight, they could be delivered an onslaught of negative comments all day long at school.  While many people say that they are "comfortable with their weight," that doesn't mean it's healthy.  Good eating habits and proper exercise can help create a better life for people of all ages.  Stronger bones, better mood, more energy, more powerful muscles, and less bullying could result in a change in body fat - for the healthier.

Other ways a child could be bullied is the way they look, how they dress, what type of things they like (like they play accordion instead of the guitar), or how they talk.  People shouldn't be bullied for what they believe in!  Before you let your child go out to school with those bright yellow pants and fake nerd glasses, you have to ask, "Does your child have a confidence level to be able to stand up for what they think is right?"  How someone looks or the clothes they wear should be an expression of their personality and people should accept the way other people look, dress, and do (to an extent).

I believe that the current plan of dealing with bullies at school is very effective.  On the other hand, it doesn't empower children to stand up for themselves and become stronger people - which will carry over into adulthood.  That's why I have a passion for martial arts.  We need to help children build more confidence to stand up for what they believe in, inspire them to eat right, and to have a lifestyle that is very active!

At ATA Elkton, we're hosting 13 different one-hour bully defense lessons over the next 6 months.  Each one will empower every child that participates and will be a little different. Every class will be a community event and to attend, you'd donate $35 to St. Jude's Children's Hospital.  In the next article, I'll elaborate on the different topics and we're going to help kids remove fear from their lives and accomplish their goals!

I'd like to leave you with this call to action:  Teach your child to find the good in other people's actions instead of only calling out the negative.  Be a good-finder.  Get them to constantly acknowledge the things that their friends do good and other people will pay it forward.  Dale Carnegie said, "Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime."