- White-Yellow Belt Tigers - there are 4 classes to choose from so you can train on the weekends or during the week! Choose 2 to get the best out of your training and Stick to it!
- White-Yellow Belt Juniors - there are 4 classes to choose from so you can train on the weekends or during the week! Choose 2 to get the best out of your training and Stick to it!
- 1st Degree Black Belts - you've made it! You're the top of the color belts. Focus your goals on competition to unleash your winning potential! Train on the two weekday classes and weekend class
- 2nd and 3rd Degrees - you all train together because you are awesome at motivating each other! Focus your goals on competition to unleash your winning potential! Train on the two weekday classes and weekend class
- Adult TKD - you have two weekday classes and then come to ATAfit on Friday night or Fit Club on Saturday morning in Elkton to get a full experience of Forms, Fitness, and Self Defense!
- ATAfit - you barf you win, 'nuff said.
- Camo-Red Tigers - a constantly fluctuating class that has a focused plan to achieve black belt from an early age - 4 different opportunities to train, choose 2 to get the bet out of your training and Stick to it!
- Camo-Red Belts - 16 new yellow belts coming in and 5 Red Belts returning to class! That's why we added an extra class on Saturdays! If you come in and it's a packed house, try another day! Choose 2 to get the bet out of your training and Stick to it!
- RFLX Tactial - training for real-life situations where going to the ground is not an option. Multiple attacker scenarios and control drills designed for Law Enforcement, Security, and Military, but anyone 18+ can take it! Add this class on for $15 a class or $49 a month.
- HYPER Pro Training - You've seen it on the TV in our pro shop and I've seen you watching with your jaw on the floor! This stuff is sweeet and we have a structured plan to take a student from ZERO to HERO!! Pro athlete mindset will get these students pumped and primed for their new favorite class!
- Leadership Action Class (LAC) - We train leaders at ATA Elkton and this is how we do it. Never been to it before? Call or ask and we'll schedule a "first class."
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Upcoming Schedule Evolution!
After the next belt promotion cycle, our schedule is going to adjust a little. There is good reason for it and I'm really excited to share it! Here's a list of classes:
Monday, April 16, 2012
An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises!
"I wish I had someone that could give me a call to kick my butt into doing what I need to do!" Lack of motivation is one of the greatest dangers facing our kids these days. Is it more fun to play baseball or play baseball on Xbox 360? These days, it is important to be fit, confidence, and healthy. A man who lost his wife in the tragedy of 9-11 was interviewed and he was asked, "If this were to ever happen to again, what advice would you give America?" His wife didn't make it to the bottom of the World Trade Center that she was working in because of her fitness level. The man said, "You have to be as fit as you possibly can."
This summer is the test for parents in helping their children reach their goals. Something called "Narrow Mind Focus" will affect 70%-80% of our students this summer. N.M.F. goes like this: A student is swimming in a pool on a warm summer day. It's about 4pm and it's time to get ready for class, mom walks up to her son and says, "Tommy, it's time to get out of the pool and get ready for karate!" Tommy says, "I don't think I like karate anymore, I want to quit." Two weeks ago, Tommy told mom about how he wants to be a karate instructor when he grows up and he was so excited to earn his stripe and now he wants to quit? No. Tommy is testing mom and has Narrow Mind Focus! All he is thinking about is swimming in the pool and doesn't want to get out so he says what he thinks mom will react to.
The lack of motivation usually starts with mom letting Tommy quit karate. Then while Tommy is "searching for something else to try," he starts playing video games and is locked in to something that isn't as beneficial as martial arts training. It's important to remind Tommy about his goals and keep him committed to them! When you first enrolled Tommy into a program, he didn't understand the power of commitment - but you did! This is a commitment for Tommy to always try his best, the instructors to keep him excited IN class, and Mom and Dad to commit to bring him to class no matter what! Don't you wish you had someone [like you] that would kick your butt every time you wanted to quit something that you started out strong with? (Working out, quitting smoking, eating better, etc)
This summer, ATA is going to be THE PLACE TO BE! We are going to have an awesome ticket contest, referral contest, fun events, water gun and balloon battles, special competitions, and a bunch of other cool things, too! Of course, some cool movies are coming out and we're going to be doing special themed classes and movie nights where kids can win a NERF Gatling gun! They are going to love martial arts this summer, have a cool group of friends, and you will help to inspire them and teach them about the POWER of commitment!
Read this and apply it to FORCING Tommy out of the pool:
"Commitment in the face of conflict produces character." -Unknown (but not me, until now!)
This summer is the test for parents in helping their children reach their goals. Something called "Narrow Mind Focus" will affect 70%-80% of our students this summer. N.M.F. goes like this: A student is swimming in a pool on a warm summer day. It's about 4pm and it's time to get ready for class, mom walks up to her son and says, "Tommy, it's time to get out of the pool and get ready for karate!" Tommy says, "I don't think I like karate anymore, I want to quit." Two weeks ago, Tommy told mom about how he wants to be a karate instructor when he grows up and he was so excited to earn his stripe and now he wants to quit? No. Tommy is testing mom and has Narrow Mind Focus! All he is thinking about is swimming in the pool and doesn't want to get out so he says what he thinks mom will react to.
The lack of motivation usually starts with mom letting Tommy quit karate. Then while Tommy is "searching for something else to try," he starts playing video games and is locked in to something that isn't as beneficial as martial arts training. It's important to remind Tommy about his goals and keep him committed to them! When you first enrolled Tommy into a program, he didn't understand the power of commitment - but you did! This is a commitment for Tommy to always try his best, the instructors to keep him excited IN class, and Mom and Dad to commit to bring him to class no matter what! Don't you wish you had someone [like you] that would kick your butt every time you wanted to quit something that you started out strong with? (Working out, quitting smoking, eating better, etc)
This summer, ATA is going to be THE PLACE TO BE! We are going to have an awesome ticket contest, referral contest, fun events, water gun and balloon battles, special competitions, and a bunch of other cool things, too! Of course, some cool movies are coming out and we're going to be doing special themed classes and movie nights where kids can win a NERF Gatling gun! They are going to love martial arts this summer, have a cool group of friends, and you will help to inspire them and teach them about the POWER of commitment!
Read this and apply it to FORCING Tommy out of the pool:
"Commitment in the face of conflict produces character." -Unknown (but not me, until now!)
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Why do kids bully? [Part 2]
Bullying will never stop! As there has always been bigger people trying to control smaller people, there will always be a struggle for control! Some experts agree that the cause of bullying is personal insecurities. It may happen like this: A Dad abuses his son and tells him he'll never amount to anything and he always messes up. He tells his son all of the bad things he does and never gives him praise for the good things. Feeling like a loser, the child goes into the world with a negative outlook on everyone. His only example in life teaches him how to interact with others, mostly negative. He inflicts his childhood negativity on other kids around him. To himself he says, "These kids are my age and just like me, if I won't amount to anything then neither will they!" So he torments smaller kids to take out the frustration given to him by his father! When the child bully grows up and has a son of his own, the cycle starts again...
That isn't always true. Many kids labeled as bullies say that picking on other people makes them feel good. If that is one's source of pleasure, I would have to say that that is pretty sad. Most people have "bullied" another person before and they might not have realized it! Little things that people say or the way people say certain things can effect people tremendously.
Let's look at some of the questions I posed in the last article: Why was the child bullied? There could be many reasons why but do your best to take care of those issues. Many things can breed bullying.
One that comes to mind is child obesity. Because someone is overweight, they could be delivered an onslaught of negative comments all day long at school. While many people say that they are "comfortable with their weight," that doesn't mean it's healthy. Good eating habits and proper exercise can help create a better life for people of all ages. Stronger bones, better mood, more energy, more powerful muscles, and less bullying could result in a change in body fat - for the healthier.
Other ways a child could be bullied is the way they look, how they dress, what type of things they like (like they play accordion instead of the guitar), or how they talk. People shouldn't be bullied for what they believe in! Before you let your child go out to school with those bright yellow pants and fake nerd glasses, you have to ask, "Does your child have a confidence level to be able to stand up for what they think is right?" How someone looks or the clothes they wear should be an expression of their personality and people should accept the way other people look, dress, and do (to an extent).
I believe that the current plan of dealing with bullies at school is very effective. On the other hand, it doesn't empower children to stand up for themselves and become stronger people - which will carry over into adulthood. That's why I have a passion for martial arts. We need to help children build more confidence to stand up for what they believe in, inspire them to eat right, and to have a lifestyle that is very active!
At ATA Elkton, we're hosting 13 different one-hour bully defense lessons over the next 6 months. Each one will empower every child that participates and will be a little different. Every class will be a community event and to attend, you'd donate $35 to St. Jude's Children's Hospital. In the next article, I'll elaborate on the different topics and we're going to help kids remove fear from their lives and accomplish their goals!
I'd like to leave you with this call to action: Teach your child to find the good in other people's actions instead of only calling out the negative. Be a good-finder. Get them to constantly acknowledge the things that their friends do good and other people will pay it forward. Dale Carnegie said, "Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime."
That isn't always true. Many kids labeled as bullies say that picking on other people makes them feel good. If that is one's source of pleasure, I would have to say that that is pretty sad. Most people have "bullied" another person before and they might not have realized it! Little things that people say or the way people say certain things can effect people tremendously.
Let's look at some of the questions I posed in the last article: Why was the child bullied? There could be many reasons why but do your best to take care of those issues. Many things can breed bullying.
One that comes to mind is child obesity. Because someone is overweight, they could be delivered an onslaught of negative comments all day long at school. While many people say that they are "comfortable with their weight," that doesn't mean it's healthy. Good eating habits and proper exercise can help create a better life for people of all ages. Stronger bones, better mood, more energy, more powerful muscles, and less bullying could result in a change in body fat - for the healthier.
Other ways a child could be bullied is the way they look, how they dress, what type of things they like (like they play accordion instead of the guitar), or how they talk. People shouldn't be bullied for what they believe in! Before you let your child go out to school with those bright yellow pants and fake nerd glasses, you have to ask, "Does your child have a confidence level to be able to stand up for what they think is right?" How someone looks or the clothes they wear should be an expression of their personality and people should accept the way other people look, dress, and do (to an extent).
I believe that the current plan of dealing with bullies at school is very effective. On the other hand, it doesn't empower children to stand up for themselves and become stronger people - which will carry over into adulthood. That's why I have a passion for martial arts. We need to help children build more confidence to stand up for what they believe in, inspire them to eat right, and to have a lifestyle that is very active!
At ATA Elkton, we're hosting 13 different one-hour bully defense lessons over the next 6 months. Each one will empower every child that participates and will be a little different. Every class will be a community event and to attend, you'd donate $35 to St. Jude's Children's Hospital. In the next article, I'll elaborate on the different topics and we're going to help kids remove fear from their lives and accomplish their goals!
I'd like to leave you with this call to action: Teach your child to find the good in other people's actions instead of only calling out the negative. Be a good-finder. Get them to constantly acknowledge the things that their friends do good and other people will pay it forward. Dale Carnegie said, "Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime."
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Why do kids bully? [Part 1]
One of the greatest dangers facing our kids these days is bullying. The statistics are outrageous! According to ABC News, 30 percent of kids in school are either bullies or get bullied. Over 160,000 kids stay home every day because of the fear of a bully. Policies and standards have been set all over the world for what to do when bullying happens. Even though the rules are strict, why does it continue to happen? In this article, the focus will be on bullying on a school-aged child level. First, let's discover what bullying actually is.
Bullying happens in a few different ways. A bully can torment by verbally abusing someone. This could be name calling or making fun of the other person. When I was in 8th grade, I remember that bullies would make fun of other kids because they were overweight, not as good at sports or games in gym class, because they didn't dress in expensive clothes, or sometimes they would torment another kid for no good reason. A bully can also physically assault someone. This could be hitting with fists, kicking, open hands, or anything that would result in injury. When I was in high school, I remember the seniors would walk around and "ball tap" the freshmen which was like a slap between the legs. While embarrassing and painful, the freshmen felt that they couldn't do anything about it because seniors are so much bigger. Another way that a bully acts is messing up another child's belongings. I remember in school, one common practice was a bully would run up behind another kid and flip their books out of their arms. All of their papers would go everywhere and the kid would be embarrassed and late to class. Any of these things can cause a lot of issues in a child's life and the situations negatively challenge them to continue to try hard at school. Some kids just want to give up.
Imagine two kids facing each other. One kid is bigger. You witness the bigger kid make fun of the smaller kid, what do you want to do? Now, the bigger kid shoves the smaller kid to the ground. What do you want to do about it now? Most people I've asked say, "I would shove the bully down!" Or they would say, "I would hit the bully - yank them up and teach them right from wrong!" That's what I used to think too. To solve the problem, you must punish the bully. Set rules and punish the "bad apples" so that the kids that aren't causing problems can learn. If there were no bullies, the world would be a better place, right? Wrong- that last statement will never happen. There will always be bullies and there will always be people that get bullied. Bully Beatdown will never solve the problem. What happens when that kid finally snaps on a bully that has been picking on them for the entire school year? The bully picks a new target, he doesn't STOP bullying!
The only way to stop bullying is to take action for the people YOU care about. Bullying will never stop but you can make a difference in who becomes the target! In the situation I described above, you have to ask, "Why was that other kid getting bullied?" Obviously, the bully CHOSE the target: 1) Was the target someone just because he was smaller?
2) Was the target someone who doesn't dress in the latest fashion?
3) Was the target dirty or did he smell bad?
Why was the smaller kid chosen as the target?
In order to ensure that your child will know what to do when a bully strikes, EMPOWER them! At ATA Elkton, we're hosting 13 different one-hour bully defense lessons over the next 6 months. Each one will empower every child that participates and will be a little different. Every class will be a community event and to attend, you'd donate $35 to St. Jude's Children's Hospital. In the next article, I'll elaborate on the different topics and we're going to help kids remove fear from their lives and accomplish their goals!
Bullying happens in a few different ways. A bully can torment by verbally abusing someone. This could be name calling or making fun of the other person. When I was in 8th grade, I remember that bullies would make fun of other kids because they were overweight, not as good at sports or games in gym class, because they didn't dress in expensive clothes, or sometimes they would torment another kid for no good reason. A bully can also physically assault someone. This could be hitting with fists, kicking, open hands, or anything that would result in injury. When I was in high school, I remember the seniors would walk around and "ball tap" the freshmen which was like a slap between the legs. While embarrassing and painful, the freshmen felt that they couldn't do anything about it because seniors are so much bigger. Another way that a bully acts is messing up another child's belongings. I remember in school, one common practice was a bully would run up behind another kid and flip their books out of their arms. All of their papers would go everywhere and the kid would be embarrassed and late to class. Any of these things can cause a lot of issues in a child's life and the situations negatively challenge them to continue to try hard at school. Some kids just want to give up.
Imagine two kids facing each other. One kid is bigger. You witness the bigger kid make fun of the smaller kid, what do you want to do? Now, the bigger kid shoves the smaller kid to the ground. What do you want to do about it now? Most people I've asked say, "I would shove the bully down!" Or they would say, "I would hit the bully - yank them up and teach them right from wrong!" That's what I used to think too. To solve the problem, you must punish the bully. Set rules and punish the "bad apples" so that the kids that aren't causing problems can learn. If there were no bullies, the world would be a better place, right? Wrong- that last statement will never happen. There will always be bullies and there will always be people that get bullied. Bully Beatdown will never solve the problem. What happens when that kid finally snaps on a bully that has been picking on them for the entire school year? The bully picks a new target, he doesn't STOP bullying!
The only way to stop bullying is to take action for the people YOU care about. Bullying will never stop but you can make a difference in who becomes the target! In the situation I described above, you have to ask, "Why was that other kid getting bullied?" Obviously, the bully CHOSE the target: 1) Was the target someone just because he was smaller?
2) Was the target someone who doesn't dress in the latest fashion?
3) Was the target dirty or did he smell bad?
Why was the smaller kid chosen as the target?
In order to ensure that your child will know what to do when a bully strikes, EMPOWER them! At ATA Elkton, we're hosting 13 different one-hour bully defense lessons over the next 6 months. Each one will empower every child that participates and will be a little different. Every class will be a community event and to attend, you'd donate $35 to St. Jude's Children's Hospital. In the next article, I'll elaborate on the different topics and we're going to help kids remove fear from their lives and accomplish their goals!
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Family Life Skill: Parental Involvement
Parent involvement focuses can greatly improve a child’s
self esteem, confidence, and over all ability in martial arts (and any other
sport, for that matter). Since the
beginning of time, children have had parent leaders that have directly shown
them how to hunt, prepare meals, and treat other people. These days, we don’t hunt, mom prepares
meals while little Johnny plays video games, and most social interactions
happen at school with supervisors or in the neighborhood with minimal
supervision (if any). To help your
child build character, try doing some martial arts kicks, strikes, and blocks
with them. Teach them a
self-defense move. Show them how
much you care by telling them not to use these on their friends, family members,
or pets – but to use them to protect themselves and the people they care about.
Coaching your child in a positive way is an excellent way to
boost self-esteem. The definition
of self-esteem is an attitude that describes the way you feel about yourself. When a child works with their parent
and they get better, it creates a bond.
It shows how much the parent cares about them by doing a physical and
primal activity. This will inspire
and motivate your child on a deep genetic level! I will relate this to the ancient Greeks living in
Sparta. From the time they are
born, they learn to fight.
Teachers show them martial arts and their fathers continuously test them
on a daily basis. The Spartans and
Greeks were incredibly disciplined and had a territory that proved it. After working out with your child,
you’ll send them to school and practice with a higher level of self-esteem.
The confidence for a child to stand up for himself, try new
things, truly believe in himself can be improved with parent involvement! When a child is faced with a problem at
school that is really hard, they may feel like they can’t do it. When they come home, they will know
that after a few minutes of working on the problem with mom and dad, it will be
a piece of cake! Or, if mom and
dad don’t understand, you can show your leadership by searching on the internet
to find the answer, calling one of your (smarter) friends, or searching for a
tutoring service. That shows
incredible leadership! Do you
understand that children in the future will never have to search far for ANY
ANSWER they want?? When I am
stumped about anything, I can google-search it on my iphone – anywhere! What an amazing resource! When it comes to martial arts, kids see
things that they WISH they could do but know they can’t. We can easily turn the “Can’t” into
“Can’t yet.” Inspire your children
by training with them a little bit every day and then search on Youtube for
really incredible martial artists doing ridiculous stunts. Then, ask your instructor for tips on
training with your child! You might
want to send your child through some private lessons first to get the basics.
By training with your children at home, you help to boost
their self-esteem and improve their confidence. Their overall ability improves and so does their mood. Strengthen the bond you have with your
child by sharing something that they love with them – as a leader. Here are some resources I think will
inspire you:
A couple youtube videos about the curriculum we’re doing
this cycle:
Here's one step #1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0J2mRc2wBg
Here's one step #2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlWU_DaKQj0
Here's one step #2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlWU_DaKQj0
Check out the HYPER website (HYPER TV). After you’ve seen all the free videos,
purchase some training session DVDs so you can work on new stuff together!
Good training Tools for at-home coaching:
Pork chop pads
Square hand targets
Big pads such as wavemasters XXL, BOB Bags, and shields for
power
Rebreakable boards
Curriculum DVDs
Purchase these items in our ATA Pro Shop (located in the
storage room, soon to be in the lobby at ATA Elkton!)
Monday, February 27, 2012
Healthy Competition :) Part 3
"This is why I kept doing martial arts!"
That is what I tell to all the families that ask me questions about tournaments. Most people are curious about how a tournament works, how long it lasts, and what they have to do. Those questions are easy to answer but the most important thing is, when you go to a tournament, set the goal to compete, NOT watch. When you watch something that you are nervous about before you participate (like a tournament), most people will come up with MORE reasons why they can't do it - not get excited about participating. That's why I ask my potential new students to just into a class or private lesson first, not watch a class.
"I'm going to get the third bar added to it now since I just earned my third degree black belt!" Is what Mr. Frank from the Edgewood, MD ATA school said a few years ago about his Triple Crown Champion tattoo that he has in an inconspicuous spot on his calf. Many school owners are so excited about competition that they will do anything to share the experience with their students. Another thing that many school owners will agree on is tournaments is also a decision point in students QUITTING martial arts. They don't have a good experience and, instead of learning from it, they decide to give up everything they've worked for! In the next part of this article is the lessons that kids should learn after a tournament so that they are motivated and learn life skills from it. From every win and loss, a lesson is learned. Sometimes the lesson is more like a diamond in the rough. A competitor may leave a tournament saying "the judge was wrong" "they didn't call my points" "I should've beaten him" "I don't know why he won when he dropped his weapon," among an infinite amount of complaints. You have to dig really deep sometimes to discover the lesson to be learned!
This week, I'll focus more on the age group of 7-13. For older kids, it's important to make them think but try and guide their thoughts. In the last post, we talked about what to do when they win and what to do when they lose. Here is a quick review:
WIN: When the competitor wins, make sure you remind them that the other students aren't going to take it lightly and they're going to turn it up and try to beat them next time. So it's important to train harder! The next part included the fact that the 4th place trophy has significance but is not a true WIN! It means that they have done something that 90% of martial artists wouldn't and they deserved recognition for that.
LOSE: When the competitor loses, it's important to give self-feedback and talk about what parts they were weakest in. Work with your competitor to come up with creative ideas that are possible so that they become better at the next tournament. Have them set a goal that is specific!
From both tournament results, we have a job to do. Begin the process of preparing for the next tournament on the drive home! Always give praise about what the competitor truly did good. Go wild with praise and make it specific - especially if they didn't get 1st, 2nd, or 3rd. If you stopped to get a meal at one of the rest stops on the way home and they are unresponsive and they don't really acknowledge all the praise - that's OK! They are probably going to feel down about not winning. From both outcomes of competition, the next action needs to be to either "Train Harder" or "become better." Those things have the same meaning!! Here's an extra detail: when you are working on setting the goal to do better or get the same result at the next tournament, teach your child how to set the goal but also talk about the steps that it will take to get that result! Let your child do most of the talking and see if they can be creative and come up with a plan on how they can get better. Here are some ways to improve:
That is what I tell to all the families that ask me questions about tournaments. Most people are curious about how a tournament works, how long it lasts, and what they have to do. Those questions are easy to answer but the most important thing is, when you go to a tournament, set the goal to compete, NOT watch. When you watch something that you are nervous about before you participate (like a tournament), most people will come up with MORE reasons why they can't do it - not get excited about participating. That's why I ask my potential new students to just into a class or private lesson first, not watch a class.
"I'm going to get the third bar added to it now since I just earned my third degree black belt!" Is what Mr. Frank from the Edgewood, MD ATA school said a few years ago about his Triple Crown Champion tattoo that he has in an inconspicuous spot on his calf. Many school owners are so excited about competition that they will do anything to share the experience with their students. Another thing that many school owners will agree on is tournaments is also a decision point in students QUITTING martial arts. They don't have a good experience and, instead of learning from it, they decide to give up everything they've worked for! In the next part of this article is the lessons that kids should learn after a tournament so that they are motivated and learn life skills from it. From every win and loss, a lesson is learned. Sometimes the lesson is more like a diamond in the rough. A competitor may leave a tournament saying "the judge was wrong" "they didn't call my points" "I should've beaten him" "I don't know why he won when he dropped his weapon," among an infinite amount of complaints. You have to dig really deep sometimes to discover the lesson to be learned!
This week, I'll focus more on the age group of 7-13. For older kids, it's important to make them think but try and guide their thoughts. In the last post, we talked about what to do when they win and what to do when they lose. Here is a quick review:
WIN: When the competitor wins, make sure you remind them that the other students aren't going to take it lightly and they're going to turn it up and try to beat them next time. So it's important to train harder! The next part included the fact that the 4th place trophy has significance but is not a true WIN! It means that they have done something that 90% of martial artists wouldn't and they deserved recognition for that.
LOSE: When the competitor loses, it's important to give self-feedback and talk about what parts they were weakest in. Work with your competitor to come up with creative ideas that are possible so that they become better at the next tournament. Have them set a goal that is specific!
From both tournament results, we have a job to do. Begin the process of preparing for the next tournament on the drive home! Always give praise about what the competitor truly did good. Go wild with praise and make it specific - especially if they didn't get 1st, 2nd, or 3rd. If you stopped to get a meal at one of the rest stops on the way home and they are unresponsive and they don't really acknowledge all the praise - that's OK! They are probably going to feel down about not winning. From both outcomes of competition, the next action needs to be to either "Train Harder" or "become better." Those things have the same meaning!! Here's an extra detail: when you are working on setting the goal to do better or get the same result at the next tournament, teach your child how to set the goal but also talk about the steps that it will take to get that result! Let your child do most of the talking and see if they can be creative and come up with a plan on how they can get better. Here are some ways to improve:
- Get some private lessons - they will make you exponentially better!
- Have a strict training regimen. At first it can just be a challenge of discipline like: Every time we practice, we're going to go for no less than 30 minutes. Another one can be: we are going to train for 15 minutes every day, no matter what
- At your school, try and work with a different instructor to get a new perspective. Some instructors have a preference to weapons, sparring, forms, sport karate/ extreme and you can get insights into those divisions sometimes by switching it up!
Friday, February 24, 2012
How to get a child to listen - 2 Domination/ Avoid Domination
"Hey, you wanna do the tournament?"
"No? Why not? C'mon!"
"Ok, fine."
Many times, that's the conversation that I hear. When I speak to a parent (or even an adult who I'm trying to motivate to compete in a tournament) they usually say, "I sure wish he would do it, but he says he doesn't want to." Well, I completely get that! Once a child makes up their mind (or an adult for that matter), it's hard to turn a 'no' into a 'yes.' The trick is, don't start with a question where 'no' is an option! If you read the last blog post, I detail the Socratic method and a little about the word No. Check it out by going to this link: How to get a child to listen - 1 Socratic Method. So let's think about when your child doesn't want to get ready for school, get in the car so that you can make it to an appointment, brush his or her teeth, or eat their vegetables. You don't say, "I sure wish he would do it, but he says he doesn't want to." You don't, do you?? Well, I know that competing in a tournament or something that is really optional isn't the same as getting them to do something as important as that but I just want you to know that you have the power to get your children to do ANYTHING! You can be a brute: "You will do this tournament, no excuses, no other option." Or you can be a diplomat by using some of the methods I'll give you!
First of all, children constantly try to dominate or avoid domination. Wait, not just kids, everyone. Kids especially. If you understand that when they say no, they're trying to avoid domination. When they pick the game, they're trying to dominate. Most of the time, it's fine - they pick what to play with or what veggie we're eating tonight (Corn, right?). If you understand that, you can alter your words to reflect it! Bugs Bunny used to call it Reverse Psychology! Before you read any further, I want you to go to this YouTube video and I'll prove it to you! So, you're Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck is your child. HERE'S THE VIDEO YOU HAVE TO GO TO!Many times, that's the conversation that I hear. When I speak to a parent (or even an adult who I'm trying to motivate to compete in a tournament) they usually say, "I sure wish he would do it, but he says he doesn't want to." Well, I completely get that! Once a child makes up their mind (or an adult for that matter), it's hard to turn a 'no' into a 'yes.' The trick is, don't start with a question where 'no' is an option! If you read the last blog post, I detail the Socratic method and a little about the word No. Check it out by going to this link: How to get a child to listen - 1 Socratic Method. So let's think about when your child doesn't want to get ready for school, get in the car so that you can make it to an appointment, brush his or her teeth, or eat their vegetables. You don't say, "I sure wish he would do it, but he says he doesn't want to." You don't, do you?? Well, I know that competing in a tournament or something that is really optional isn't the same as getting them to do something as important as that but I just want you to know that you have the power to get your children to do ANYTHING! You can be a brute: "You will do this tournament, no excuses, no other option." Or you can be a diplomat by using some of the methods I'll give you!
You have to be creative when you come up with your plan. If you get a no, it'll be hard to turn it around. My example might not work for your child because you have to use little things that will get them EXCITED! We're going to plan our conversation around motivating and influencing our child to do something that is important and beneficial to them - even though they don't want to. This is not intended to be used to manipulate children - so use this for good, not evil!
Start with something basic:
"When you did class last night, your techniques were awesome! You have two stripes don't you?"
"Yeah, Dad, I got 'em"
"Nice... that's good. I'm curious, didn't your instructor say that the only way you can go to the tournament is if you had THREE stripes on your belt?"
"I don't know, I don't remember. I know everything I have to do to get the stripes, I just have to show my instructor."
"Yeah I'm sure you could get your stripe next time you go in. But going to the tournament is another thing. You'd have to do your form all by yourself, you don't get your instructor to help you."
"I could totally do my form all by myself, I don't need anybody's help! I've been practicing my butt off!"
"Oh, so you think that you could go to a tournament and probably beat the other kids?"
"Yeah, I could definitely do that! [Dad smiles]"
You see how the child felt like the parent was going to tell him he wouldn't be able to compete (dominate him) so he had to get defensive and avoid domination? With that, he said exactly what Dad wanted him to say. He predicted his child's behavior and knew his interests and motives and planned out the conversation accordingly. Some kids won't try to avoid domination, they'll just dominate, so you might have to change it around. You can figure that out, just be creative. In Dale Carnegie's Book, "How to Win Friends & Influence People," he says about a similar subject, "I would rather walk the sidewalk in front of a person's office for two hours before an interview than step into that office without a perfectly clear idea of what I was going to say and what that person - from my knowledge of his or her interests and motives - was likely to answer."
My passion for the character development in children inspires me to give you this call to action: Take a stand for the important people in your life that train in martial arts - get them to commit to competing in a tournament to make them better martial artists and stronger people. Try the this Domination/ Avoid Domination method for the upcoming tournament!
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